I did a couple of tarot card readings (all with different readers) a few weeks ago, and they all gave the same prediction - someone from my past will attempt to reconnect with me.
Of course, there's only one person that came to my mind.
While it's disrespectful to label tarot cards as a game of entertainment, I've always taken the readings with a pinch of salt. A skeptic believer, I think that's what I am.
And surprise surprise, Edward reached out to me on Monday. Well, a different E I was expecting, from an even longer lifetime ago, but perhaps a better one, because all I felt was pure joy and none of the apprehension that the other E will undoubtedly bring. (Context: Edward was the bassist and leader of the band I played with back in uni.) We were both happy to have reconnected, because it reminded us of the mutual dream we once had of doing music, a version of us that we have since shelved and forgotten. At least music still brings me great joy, and at least I found my passion for drums again.
I was in the middle of dinner with Misa when the text came. The right E, just 27 hours to 2022.
第一反应：Hmmm, 塔罗牌神准。
道歉，迟来的刚好。换做是一年前的我，甚至是半年前的我，应该还无法接受。
释怀是我给自己订下的功课。也不是分手后才来的感叹，只是觉得生命如此美丽但也如此短暂，如果因纠缠过去而忽略眼前的风景，多不值得。我对于释怀的学习和追求，仍是个进行式。
撇开破损的感情不谈，当初欣赏彼此的一切依旧。真心觉得，此生能亲身体会而不只是以书面上理解“海内存知己，天涯若比邻” ， “莫逆于心，遂相与友” 是多大的福气！
就在以秒数倒数之际，或许是抱着年末就豁出去的勇气（若结果尴尬就2022年不再联系）彼此不约而同表示断联这两年心里都还住着个虚幻的对方。可否再当朋友，不再用虚幻的对方来顶替彼此在心里占的位置？
或许是长大了，也或许是剧看多了，不需要谈很多段刻苦铭心的恋爱也明白不是每一份喜欢都要以爱情收场。
彼此的默契，就是答案。
艰难的2021年，能有个圆满的收场，是宇宙赐予的礼物。
想想，失而复得的圆满也不单是从 the right E. Hearing from Edward again was a lovely surprise, and reconnecting with Alfe (my shifu) is the best thing I've done this year.
最大的圆满，莫过于理解幸福是自己给的。
愿2022年能活得更潇洒，多些快乐，少些不如意。更珍惜朋友，多爱惜自己！
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