Allons-y!

Kira
06.11.2006 - 28.06.2021

Kira's passing wasn't something we didn't see coming.

He was already unwell two months ago - there was a growth in his bladder; prognosis wasn't optimistic but being a trooper, Kira got back to his feet and gave us two more months of memories.

On Friday he had bloody diarrhoea - the vet detected a lump in his intestines. Then things took a turn for the worse on Saturday - he stopped eating and drinking completely. We brought him back to the vet on Sunday and was told there's really nothing much they could do. His organs were failing. We were advised to put him to sleep.

We decided to bring him back home for one last night before bringing him back to the vet this morning for the procedure. But being the goodest boy ever, Kira took away our pain of having to put him down and crossed the rainbow bridge on his own this morning.

I thought I would be able to handle his death better. I had been emotionally preparing it for months, after all. But who am I joking? You can't build an armour to defend yourself from grief.

How do you deal with losing your companion who had been with you for half your life? (Which leads me to the next question - how do you deal with losing a loved one who had been with you for all your life? Uh oh.)

It hit me like a truck. Gut wrenching howls ensued, literally (lol). But I'm not ready to let you go. I know that moving on to a pain-free heaven is the best option for you, but I can't bear to let you go.

I am a self-proclaimed Omnist. The night before, I asked for all Gods to take away Kira's pain and suffering, and make his return to their arms in peace and comfort. He is the goodest boy, he doesn't deserve to suffer.

Kira left us in his favourite sleeping position. I can't say it was without pain, but the romantic in me is convinced he must have known how distressed I was, and made it look like a serene passing. The romantic in me believes he must have known how conflicted I was about having to put him down, so he beat me to it to spare me the dilemma and pain.

Photos are return tickets to moments otherwise gone.

I am glad he came to my life at a time when camera phones (just) started to become a thing. But I wish I had taken more. (Also, I am so thankful that all photos were tagged with the date and time. Honestly, you can cry about technology leaving us with no privacy but really, they can track me for all I care.)