Probably the most intense dinner I've ever had. I hyperventilated till I nearly fainted.
Imagining how it's like to be blind is one thing, but to actually have your eyes wide open yet still not be able to see anything at all is just downright traumatizing.
One minute into the experience and I had a panic attack: sweating like rain, accelerating heart beat that pounded like thunder, that sick nausea feeling, unable to think about anything else except how i'll be stuck there forever. Nothing less.
I even asked to get out, but our host, Fabian, sounded disappointed that I was giving up so quickly. (Fabian is visually impaired.)
So all I could to was to try and press on, not without the support from xinyu. I basically held on to her hand like a life support the whole time.
Food was really good. We were served a mystery prix fixe menu, so all we could do was to guess what we were eating by the taste, texture, smell. Which I failed big time anyway. Probably because I was so occupied with fear that I wasn't in my best condition to decipher what we were eating. But it was all good fun; I even downed a glass of eel juice (yes) without knowing what it was (I thought it was some sort of sour plum drink...)
And then I had another panic attack again after our meal, when we were given a debrief and asked to do a reflection by Fabian, where he questioned what we would do if one day, we really lost our sight? Or what if he decides not to bring us out of the place. I just wasn't in the mood for deep thoughts, all I could think of was how I was going to be stuck there for life, or to lose my sense of sight forever.
有那麼誇張嗎？
有。
在那短短的一小時半我清楚感覺到恐慌在吞噬我。我無法抵抗，只能淪陷。
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